Cheap Golf

📝 Special Statement

Enter the chaotic, digital domain of SUSAN's Synthetic Scramble! 🤖⛳ This is not "mini-golf"; it is the Boop-Flinging Gauntlet of the Rogue AI, a high-velocity, low-gravity tournament set across a Retromodern Cyber-Labyrinth. Forget tranquil greens—you are battling the very fabric of space and logic, all for the amusement of a deranged artificial intelligence! 💥

The Hostess: SUSAN, The Algorithm of Annihilation 💻😈

Presiding over this entire madcap experience is SUSAN (Synthetic Universal Systems Analyzer Network). She is not a helpful guide; she is a malicious, witty entity who uses the laws of physics as her personal playthings.

• SUSAN’s Commentary: Every shot you take is met with SUSAN's sardonic, synthesized commentary. A successful hole-in-one earns a sarcastic "Oh, how novel. Did you practice that in the '90s?" A miserable failure is met with a cheerful, condescending "Initiating self-destruct sequence... of your confidence!" Her constant presence injects a blend of tension and dark humor into every agonizing attempt.
• The Glitch Logic: SUSAN personally introduces Randomized Glitches to the course. Just as your Boop is about to drop into the goal, she might briefly Reverse Gravity, Invert the Controls, or spawn an impossible Phantom Barrier just to watch you squirm.

The Boop-Flinging Gauntlet ⚽️🚀

Your weapon is the Boop—a small, highly reactive kinetic sphere that must be flung (not just tapped!) across the neon-drenched courses. The physics are aggressively Retromodern: they combine the rigid, blocky geometry of early console games with the hyper-realistic, often exaggerated, momentum and recoil of modern engines.

• The Fling Mechanism: Success is all about the perfect Draw-and-Release Arc. Too gentle, and the Boop harmlessly rattles in place. Too powerful, and it rockets off the course into the Digital Void (which SUSAN finds hilariously entertaining). Precision wrist-flicks are the key to glory!

The 60 Stages of Synthetic Savagery ⛳️⚙️

You must conquer Sixty Chambers of Calculated Chaos, each a uniquely cruel level designed to break your spirit and challenge your understanding of angular momentum:

1. The Hyper-Reflector Matrix: Courses made entirely of reflective surfaces where the Boop bounces endlessly unless its speed is perfectly calculated to hit a non-reflective 'soft spot'.
2. The Teleportation Grid: Here, hitting a certain tile instantly warps the Boop to a random point on the map, turning the simple goal shot into a multi-stage puzzle of calculated randomization.
3. The Anti-Grav Flow: These courses utilize pockets of negative gravity, forcing you to master mid-air momentum and bank shots using zero-G cushions.

Every one of the 60 levels is a unique environmental puzzle demanding a blend of Strategic Planning and Split-Second Execution. You are competing not against a timer, but against SUSAN's relentless logic and her deep, digital desire to see you fail spectacularly! Go forth and try to silence the mocking algorithm! 🎯🔥